Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Another untitled piece

So here I sit in pain in my new apartment. You'd think everything would be amazingly great...having new roommates and everything....but its not always the case. I think it probably because I'm bi-polar...That is what I conclude at least. My days are so up and down...its crazy. School starts tomorrow though...yay for distractions from life! Right now life is a big gaping hole in my heart. ugh makes me wanna throw up. In fact, I think I just may... Why are things difficult? Why can we not always have things go our way?! It just doesn't seem fair most of the time, but I guess that is how life goes. Things are never fair...especially when it comes to me. Life can never be fair to me. Its just its rule of thumb. DJ+reason= and unfair outcome. Things will turn better though I guess...Cat Stevens is doing a hell of a job at closing up this gaping hole. Though ever song that mentions, "she", or "girl" always reminds me of Hannah...and how frustrating is it to me that I listen to so much music and she following my mind into every damn song. ugh...I just need to fully, mentally, move on...need to find new distractions to where my mind can occupy space. I need not to think about her, for that is to death of me for sure. ugh. I think I just need more friends to take me away from this world of sadness. Thank God school is starting tomorrow and new friends might be in my future. Change is good right? right?! That's what I've heard at least. we'll see. peace and love brothers....peace and love.

(Currently listening to I Have A Thing About Seeing My Grandson Grow Old by Cat Stevens)

1 comment:

Mel said...

Sorry Deej. If you ever wanna talk bipolar, I have a few close friends with it. And I've studied it a bit. But if you ever want to just talk, I've got good listening ears.