Monday, July 1, 2019

Unexpected change of heart

Have you ever experienced a moment in your life when you know that your following steps from then on will be the best steps towards a happier life? I believe that I experienced that yesterday. A moment that you feel that everything has lead you to connect with that one singular person and give each other the chance to blossom one another’s soul. I don’t know what it is, but I feel that I want to protect and defend her and her family from anything bad that could happen. Do I feel this way with other people? No. Why do I feel it with her? I’m not sure but I’m not fighting the feelings of not being a father or not being married or not anchoring down. These are all welcome in my mind with her. Red Flags. I see none. We’ve both been through shit. We’ve both made our mistakes and we both may make more mistakes, but I would like to make those and overcome them together with her. Does she feel the same way that I do? Very unsure about that fact. Why do I feel the way I do after one singular date? It’s weird that I feel it but something in me says we’re very compatible. We went to high school together but she was always too cool for folks like myself, haha. JK but she was “the hot chick” of our class that had all the guys after her. She’s amazing. Her smile shines. Her soul shines brighter. Her foundation seems well rooted. Is she real? Is this momentary? How do I move past these initial steps and not scare her away? The only things that comes to mind is Honesty. Be up front with her will all aspects of my life. Be open to opportunities. Be open to rejections. Be vulnerable. I mean, she’s lead me to write again for Gods sake, that hasn’t happened in years. Her eyes lead me to happiness and she has an aura about her that I want to be apart of. She is drop dead beautiful and I would fight for her till the end of my day. She is someone that I would flip my life for. These are huge statements but they’re easily stated after getting to know her more. She’s smart and beyond sexy. Don’t fuck this up DJ. Don’t fuck it up. These feelings aren’t made up or set on cue. These are real. Don’t fuck it up. Currently listening to Seventeen - by Sharon Van Etten