Change is good

So here I sit on my familiar bed but in a foreign room...a room that has become mine. I just moved into my new place yesterday and I'm loving it. The air I breathe is that of freshness and light. I just took another deep breathe. smiles all around. Its good to change things up once in a while...and my time was more that due! I share this town house with two other roommates. They're cool. Though I was up fairly late due to the noise below. But its all good, cause I just bought me some sleeping pills. yum. I'm currently waiting impatiently for my pot roast to cook in the crock pot...looks like Im not going to be eating for another three hours...man time goes by slow when you're hungry. I think I'm going to nap. ...ya that is what I'm going to do. nighty night!

(Currently listening to Naked Sun by ...You Will Know Us By The Trail Of Dead)

It is, and always will be our choice

To complete something is to never give up in whatever it is. If we don't end up where it is that we want to be, it is because we gave up at one point or another. We can make anything work. You can make anything work. We choose to succeed or we choose to fail. It is, and always will be our choice.

(Currently listening to Blue Eyes Blue by Eric Clapton)

Believe the Bloggers

So surprise surprise, its 1:24AM and I cannot sleep at all. My brain just wont shut off...I need some sleeping aid bad. I just took a nice hot bath and squirted a few drops of Aussie shampoo into the water and watched the water barely bubble. It was warm...and soothed me temporarily, and now I just feel sick. That could be a result of my Soy Latte that I had not three hours ago...hum...any who....I was working pretty hard today at American Eagle and totally jamming out to Ghostland Observatory for four hours straight. I just listened to the same CD about three or four times in a row, and then switched it out for the other Ghostland album. Yummy...that music moves me and makes everything OK. I was full on dancing in the stock room singing out-loud the lyrics to each song. It was a blasty blast. Ya..I just said blasty blast...use it... I bet you'll enjoying and even smile a little bit. I know I do. :) So I worked till about midnight...thought I was tired but that thirty minute power nap before work probably threw off my whole 'inner clock'. I ate at Shoga today by myself...I've never gone out to eat alone...it was actually pretty enjoyable. I just sat back and watched others and observed their ways of communicating with one another. It was a pretty good experience...though I did miss certain people, and have thousands of thoughts racing through my head. I watched a couple that was so bugged that I was sitting alone in a booth and they had to sit at a table. I just kinda smirked at them and eased more into my comfy booth. I think I may have even giggled a bit. It wasn't long till the booth next to me was vacant and that couple attacked it like fat people attack buffets.

I would also like to state something about my blogs and the reasons I say the things I do. For me this is a place that I can be completely open with my feelings and share who I am with anybody or nobody. I do not hide behind masks or false images of myself. I am an open book...and my book isn't the prettiest. But what it is, is me. I come here, to my blog, to release what I have built up inside of me...I release it...I grow from it...I try to become healthier by doing so. This is very therapeutic for me, and I mean no harm to those who read my words. People are messed up yes. I am messed up...everyone has problems and everyone has their own way dealing with those problems. With limited close friends and people that actually listen to me, I have no one really to bounce my feelings off of. I have this place to talk. To free my mind. To vent. This is a safe zone for me. This is where I can relax and feel free. I apologize if I offend any of my readers. I am just being who I am...for once. Be free. Free your mind.

(Currently listening to Motherless Child by Eric Clapton)

whatever

Why do we do things we do?! Why is it that no matter how hard we try...how hard we work at something...it ends up biting us in the ass. I guess that is life. I guess we are distend to fail. No matter what we do...we will fail in one way or another. I have felt and most likely you have too. To be whole is to eff your life up. There seems to be no mercy to the pain. Nothing that will satisfy the dying of our souls. I feel like I am alone. I feel that life is meant to be lived alone. That for us to feel right with ourselves...we must only live ...with ourselves. Why live it with others? because they make us happy? that is what they want you to believe. that others make you happy. Yes they do...for a while. They do momentarily. But why not forever? We live in a shit hole where everyone is covered with shit. No one speaks the truth for all that comes out is more shit. You can pretty up the ugliest things in the world and it'll still be only shit. We can put stuff in its place by not doing a damn thing. Why can't we be put in our own places without doing anything?! Life seems to be short and sucks. Why go through the shit we do for such a small f#*king time! ugh...dont take this blog as a forever view. Its temporary Im sure. We'll see. Kill me now.

(currently listening to T.O.A.B. by Sevendust)

Self titled

Be it said that love dominates all. People may say differently but I firmly believe that it does. Of course love doesn't solve all problems...we do need to work...we do need to act in life to get by...but we could do it with no help at all and it could be rough and unpleasant. This is where I mean that love dominates all. The reason being is that it makes things flow smoothly and makes unbearable things become bearable. Smile. You know that love does make that. If you don't agree, then I'm sorry...you probably never really loved. You probably never felt love. Its not a lost cause for you though, you can still find it...even in old relationships. You can make that change. You can fill the air with warmth. We could all use some love. We all can feel it. Turn the sides of your mouth upward. You know you want too. So do it.

(Currently listening to Tell Me A Lie by The Fratellis)

Late night wiggles

Late night blogs. Sometimes they are the best. Sometimes they get the best of you. I guess you will be the judge on this one. How many people do you think actually look and read this blog without commenting? I would wonder that...I would wonder why we are where we are. I often wonder why it is that I am so crazy. What makes one crazy?! What makes us say that a certain person IS crazy?! I think crazy is anything that is outside of the social society circle. This is where there are problems with the world. We tend to send these "crazies" to places where we can forget them. I am crazy. You are crazy. Insanity is reality. Reality is life. Therefore life is insanity. I like being crazy. I like seeing the world through these eyes. These eyes are what get me through this world. These hands are what pay for the keys that lead my life, this insanity. If I could hold the keys to the world I would throw them to the ground and go swimming. I would bask in the sunlight in December. I would walk around barefoot through the snow. I would legally marry Alanis Morissette's voice, we'd make voice babies and live a great life. These are thoughts that have past through my mind within the last three minutes or so. It. Be who you are. Be crazy. Dont be a cookie cutter. Be original. Seek out wealth through your own mind. Peace


(Currently listening to Poison Pushy by Stanton Moore)