So surprise surprise, its 1:24AM and I cannot sleep at all. My brain just wont shut off...I need some sleeping aid bad. I just took a nice hot bath and squirted a few drops of Aussie shampoo into the water and watched the water barely bubble. It was warm...and soothed me temporarily, and now I just feel sick. That could be a result of my Soy Latte that I had not three hours ago...hum...any who....I was working pretty hard today at American Eagle and totally jamming out to Ghostland Observatory for four hours straight. I just listened to the same CD about three or four times in a row, and then switched it out for the other Ghostland album. Yummy...that music moves me and makes everything OK. I was full on dancing in the stock room singing out-loud the lyrics to each song. It was a blasty blast. Ya..I just said blasty blast...use it... I bet you'll enjoying and even smile a little bit. I know I do. :) So I worked till about midnight...thought I was tired but that thirty minute power nap before work probably threw off my whole 'inner clock'. I ate at Shoga today by myself...I've never gone out to eat alone...it was actually pretty enjoyable. I just sat back and watched others and observed their ways of communicating with one another. It was a pretty good experience...though I did miss certain people, and have thousands of thoughts racing through my head. I watched a couple that was so bugged that I was sitting alone in a booth and they had to sit at a table. I just kinda smirked at them and eased more into my comfy booth. I think I may have even giggled a bit. It wasn't long till the booth next to me was vacant and that couple attacked it like fat people attack buffets.
I would also like to state something about my blogs and the reasons I say the things I do. For me this is a place that I can be completely open with my feelings and share who I am with anybody or nobody. I do not hide behind masks or false images of myself. I am an open book...and my book isn't the prettiest. But what it is, is me. I come here, to my blog, to release what I have built up inside of me...I release it...I grow from it...I try to become healthier by doing so. This is very therapeutic for me, and I mean no harm to those who read my words. People are messed up yes. I am messed up...everyone has problems and everyone has their own way dealing with those problems. With limited close friends and people that actually listen to me, I have no one really to bounce my feelings off of. I have this place to talk. To free my mind. To vent. This is a safe zone for me. This is where I can relax and feel free. I apologize if I offend any of my readers. I am just being who I am...for once. Be free. Free your mind.
(Currently listening to Motherless Child by Eric Clapton)
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1 comment:
Deej. I believe what you write. If you write it, I believe you feel that way. If you feel that way, it's dangerous and not healthy; especially with how candidly you write. If you're just talking for the moment, then are you trying to get attention? If you write this stuff just to get attention...then well, that is not healthy either. Who does that?? Consider this when writing what you do...
Now, anything you upload to Facebook can be used by Facebook in any way they deem fit, forever, no matter what you do later.* Want to close your account? Good for you, but Facebook still has the right to do whatever it wants with your old content. They can even sublicense it if they want.
Don't think it just stops with facebook. Think about this lovely blog called The Daily Moo. Have you ever heard this...
Danger:Your 'Footprint' on the Internet Forever.
Read this article, I think you'll find it food for thought:
http://www.nowpublic.com/culture/danger-your-footprint-internet-forever
You may be blowing off steam and being 'true to yourself' but basically you're jeopardizing your future relationships; personal and career by having your inner most thoughts public. Sure, this is how you feel now, but you'll be haunted and embarassed by this later. The sad thing is, once it's out there, it's out there forever. Even when you have long since grown up and no longer have these same feelings. If it's theorpy for you; great! Consider a private journal or a private blog for just you to 'blow off steam.' Remember, what you write it out there forever and in your words, "my book isn't the prettiest."
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