It is frustrating when you have so much on your mind and you can't put any of it to words. Right now this is how I feel and I feel it unfair. I would love to spill my soul on this white canvas but of course can barley get a drip going. Ugh its frustrating. So I'm tired, but I'm energetic. Asleep but awake. Jittery and restless. These are a few of my favorite things. When I look out this window here I see the people who are naive to the world and forced to smile, told how to smile. They never will learn on their own, yet have a perma-grin due to the fact of the MAN here in this conservative valley. I see people trying to break those bonds but not knowing how...so they end up not knowing themselves, or just masking their smiles. They may fool us all during the day but those that hide it, when at home, with no one else around, they smile like everyone else. How it would be to live an idiotic life-style. Horrific. There they all are so small to me from up here on the fourth floor. They walk forward with no direction, with nothing but cell phones in hand and lies in their head. They seem so small. I feel like I can reach out and grab them, turn them around...and show them truth to their darkness. But unfortunately this is only a feeling...I reach out and they disappear. Sadness. I reach out with my voice and my sounds are heard yet not loud enough to take effect. I look around and see nothing but lies. I feel nothing but hate. I smell only hell. I sense fear...and feel no light.
Pick your poison, for it'll be your last choice. If you feel happy about it...continuing on drinkin it. It wont quench your thirst you have...only suck more life out of your brain. What is true happiness? Not being tied down that is for sure. Doing what you wish and living life responsibly, is a good starter for your happiness. Nobody likes to be told that they are doing something bad...hum. interesting. peace
(Currently listening to I Know What I Am by the Band of Skulls)
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
Deej,
You sound angry. Anger is nothing more than an outward expression of hurt, fear and frustration. You ask What is true happiness? I don't think you know yet; based on what you write. "How it would be to live an idiotic life-style" sounds like a judgement you have made about others. I'm sure you know no more about them as they do about you eh?? Maybe they are happy, and choose to smile. You have mentioned in earlier posts that you feel judged. I don't know that you would really care, unless your life choices conflict with what YOU know to be right for you. You know what you know, and maybe that is your source of frustration. "I look around and see nothing but lies. I feel nothing but hate. I smell only hell. I sense fear...and feel no light." Really??? I believe happiness is a choice. You have heard the old saying...the cup is either half empty or half full. It all depends on the person's perspective. You will see in life, what you look for. If you look for positive things, you'll find it. If you look for negative things, you'll find it. I'm sure there will never be a way, for you to really know, what someone else has endured unless you have literally walked in their shoes; which we cannot LITERALLY walk in someone elses shoes. You will never fully understand what I have endured, now and in my past; and vice versa. Yet, life happens to all of us. We ALL endure what life hands us; and a lot of it is not always pretty. But what makes us so interesting, as human beings, is that we can experience very similar situations and have completely different outcomes due to our perspective and what we choose to focus on. You have the choice to COMPLAIN, or to PERSEVERE. You have the choice to simply REACT to what comes to you, or to CREATE what your future holds. You have a choice; ALWAYS! BEHAVIOR IS SHAPED BY CONSEQUENCE. I want you to know, I hesitated to comment, because I'm not sure how this will be recieved. You can choose to be angry or you could contemplate what I'm saying. You decide. But remember this, Blood's thicker than water, and when one's in trouble Best to seek out a relative's open arms.
Hey Cuz... Long time no see. Hope all is well with you guys out in never-never land. Where is it you live again? It's great to know there are acutally people who read my blogs. Not that I am strictly posting them for response, more like writing for my own personal good. In response to your comment made, I was frustrated at the time and venting was very good and nesesary at the time. Readers are able to choose how they'll react to what they read, and choose how they'll feel. A simple drop of water shouldn't do more than create a small ripple in the vast ocean of life. I appreciate your input and look forward to more comments to come.
Post a Comment