Five to six hours I have spent, daily, for the past two weeks in my studies, and have nothing to show from it. My brain is gone. Dead. I am possibly the first living organism to live a semi-normal life with zero Nero activity in the brain. I wonder if the doc could just remove it so I'd weigh 8 lbs. lighter? Hum, interesting...maybe I could become to first human balloon...fill my head with helium and watch me fly. If I did that I might get sued by Chris Angel for 'stealing' his floating trick, that...or I could just glue a truckless skateboard to the bottom of my amazing shoes and act like I am Micheal J. Fox from Back to the Future II, and hover over water so it seems that I am riding something futuristic. (little will everyone know that my trick is all in my head(literally)).
I say such things due to the outcome of my first test of the school. I might have well barfed all over the scan tron sheet and turn it into the hideous lady behind the desk. I may have come out with a better score than what I got initially. When I looked at my score, it was very easy to find...amidst the sea of 80's 90's and 100's there it was...my lovely low number...I could have seen it from thirty feet across the room. IT was screaming for everyone to look. LOOK AT ME!!!! And for some odd reason I felt as if I were chained to it, like a kid on a leash. I swear everyone stopped their test taking for a minute to turn and stare. I was hooked...no one corner in the room was dark enough for me to hide my face. So what did I do?! I gave everyone the finger and smiled at my score and walked out the door.
Am I happy with my score? No. Not at all. Can I do better? Yes. Ok that was kinda weird. I just envisioned myself as that doctor on Scrubs who never states anything. Instead, he teaches by asking questions. Just as I did just now. Question such as, "Do I think you are a retard? Yes I do" ... Anyway...Starting out in the dirt isn't too bad I'd say. Because if you never got dirty you would never notice how clean you are or could be. So I just gotta take that extra large Pick-Me-Up pill every morning and I'll be able to do better. Seriously though... this is going to kick my butt but I know how important it is. I can do it! ha..
So I'm sittin once again in the library and my right butt cheek is dead. I need a new wallet. Or just take all the crap out of it so I dont seem to have a three inch growth protruding right out of my rear. The only love that I getting right now are from my good friends Dan Auerbach, Howard Shultz(founder of Starbucks), and my sweetness of a baby Hannah. umm all those mix in one...umm so so good. May I have seconds please!?! Oh course. Ooo and a desert of some Dave Matthews would go splendid with it all.
Why can one not be praised for whom he/she is at the appropriate time? Rather then being graded, academically, by what you can regurgitate...why can't one just be interview for how they are and who they are? I feel it would give those that are left brained, more of a chance in the real world. If there was a degree in world traveling and camping and writing music...basically being myself...I'd ace it!! But I guess that is how the cookie crumbles. hum I seem to be rambling and probably making no sense but guess what?! I dont' care because this is for my own self worth and I am benefiting outta writing and letting my fingers do the walking/talking?...Its good to put your feelings into words even if it just a percent of what you feel...its still good. GOOOD!!! Any way. peace...until next time.
(Currently listening to Hurt Like Mine by The Black Keys)
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